Postpartum Journey: 2 Months Out

My baby is 2 months old today! And we all know what comes next: "wow! How did that happen?" or "Where does the time go?" or something like that.

But truly, time has been slow AND fast. It's like I'm watching a movie in slow-motion but by the time the movie is over, you've watched 3 movies at once. That doesn't make sense but that's what it feels like. 

I'm watching every moment of my baby's life, but then I check the calendar and compare photos of her first week to now and I'm blown away. 

TBH, the first weeks were hard. And not just "sleep deprived" hard, but hard as in "no one told me THIS was what motherhood was." Probably because each baby is so different, or because I have mild anxiety anyway, but the first 3-4 weeks were confusing and boring and frustrating. And it wasn't even baby's fault! 

The biggest thing I've learned in two months is that I'm still learning. I have to get to know my baby and learn her, because that makes all the difference.

For example, when she was probably 3-4 weeks old, she wasn't going down for a nap. She was swaddled, the timing was basically right, but she was squirmy and awake and I was holding her and it wasn't "working." I cried for 2 minutes and felt SO frustrated. 

Looking back, I laugh at myself because newborns are SUPPOSED to be unpredictable, and I also didn't realize that in that moment she maybe needed something else. I was so set on it being "my schedule" or the perfect timing that I didn't relax at all. Now, if she wakes up early, I'll try to make her nap longer or I'll just roll with it and she can be awake. As I've learned more about her, I now know that my baby doesn't love being held all day (she honestly likes to be untouched half the time). 

Here are a few more things I've learned 2 months postpartum. And of course everyone is going to have their own individual lessons so none of this may apply to you. Just fun random things we are discovering about baby girl. 

BABY LESSONS FROM A FIRST-TIME MOM

(and products we love)

1. Get a NoseFrida. Didn't even know what this was before baby and now we use it daily. I Google everything so I wasn't sure how often to use it, but whenever we hear her nose get a little stuffy or if she starts to sound like a little pig then we put saline drops in her nose and use the NoseFrida. Magic. 

2. Babies are unpredictable. Like I mentioned above, newborns are unpredictable, so we did a mostly "baby-led" schedule. She told us when she was hungry, she slept when she wanted, and we went to bed whenever it lined up after her final nap. The first two weeks, we switched off taking naps (even a 6PM nap), going to bed early, and following her. Now we are on a much more structured schedule since she is taking about 4oz every 3 hours. 

3. Remember your partner. It was WAY too easy to get frustrated with each other the first few weeks of our baby's life. We also took shifts a lot, so we really didn't connect or talk some days haha. Your life goes from being together all the time and having your nights and weekends so free and fun to baby-world in an instant. Our world turned upside down, and it felt like we each had a job to do and had to focus on that. Also, my hormones were crazy so I didn't want affection some days and the next day I'd be upset that he didn't do something specific that was only in my mind. 

I also felt bad at times asking my husband to do things for the baby. I didn't want to wake him as much at nights or ask him to change a diaper. I even said "thank you" every time he fed the baby, until I realized that this is HIS BABY TOO. And he is an equal parent in this and we work together!

Sometimes I'm a helicopter mom/wife and I like things to be done my way, but I'm learning to step back and let Dad have his own connection with our baby. If he does something a little differently, I just go with it and know he's got this (probably got this more than I do). 

4. Sound machine/Swaddle: I put these together because this combo is basically on every sleep consultant's list of tricks/tips. We have the Hatch Baby Rest and we can control it from our phone, which is great. We use it daily for naps and sleep—she can nap in the living room with the TV on and noises, but lately she's been getting better naps in her Pack-N-Play crib in our bedroom, where she also sleeps at night. 

We have a TON of swaddles, most of them given to us from baby showers or won on giveaways. My husband is better at the blanket swaddles and wrapping her tight. I'm better at the velcro/Ollie swaddles, so we use what works for us. I may do a whole blog about swaddles because we literally have maybe 8 different brands and some have worked and some haven't. 

After she eats and is up for a little, I watch the clock but also see if she yawns or acts "glazed," and then I'll swaddle her and either hold her and watch TV or take her to the crib and turn on the sound machine. She starts to close her eyes or get even more "glazed" and then we'll lay her down drowsy or with a pacifier. In the beginning she was sleeping for loooong stretches in the day, but now she takes 45–120 min naps, depending on her. 

5. Pick ONE and stick to it: This can apply to a lot of things, but in the beginning, pick ONE brand of pacifier and stick to it. If it's not working, change it. We started with the Phillips Avent ones but found they were too big for her, so we switched to the NUK silicone ones and have stuck with those. There are sooo many pacifiers out there, so just pick one and run with it. 

Same goes for bottles (if bottle feeding) and formula brand. Start with one and don't switch after one day of trying. Stick with it for a week or so and see how it goes. Our baby cried the first time she sat in her car seat on the way home from the hospital, but we didn't take the car seat back and change it, that would be silly. 

6. Use Google but also Don't Use Google: The Internet can be so helpful, like when our baby woke up with a blood spot in her eyeball and I freaked out but learned it's pretty normal. BUT the Internet can be dangerous and FULL of comparison. I've never really been someone to compare myself to others, but once I became a mom, I found myself comparing SO much. I'm also genuinely curious, so I like to Google baby things like sleep, swings, milestones, what things are normal, etc. 

Example: I've read a lot about some people moving their baby to a separate room to sleep at night early on, like 4-8 weeks. They said everyone got better sleep and the baby did well in a separate room. Other people kept their baby in their rooms for 6+ months, so I was torn on what to do. I wanted to try it one night and put her asleep in her own nursery, so I kept researching it. I even had everything set up for her nursery that night, but I ended up keeping her in our room because she had just started sleeping longer at night and I wanted to wait. And that's OK! Some people do amazing with one thing and it doesn't work for someone else. 

7. Every day is different. Sounds cheesy, but it's true. One day I can feel like Super Mom and have my baby take amazing naps and get so much done, and the next day everything is a mess. Overall, I feel like our baby has been pretty chill and we really haven't had a "crazy terrible messy day" that I hear about, but oh I know it's coming. 

There are so many specific things I've learned about our baby, from how to burp her to what she'll like or not like. And each week is SO new. She's really starting to grow into her face, she's getting rolls and getting chubby, and she smiles soooo much. I think I'll only love her more and more (well duh) as she grows, because the newborn stage is weird and slow and confusing. 

I'm excited for more sleep (hopefully). Right now we switch off nights of who has to get up with baby first. So for tonight, my husband will put her down to sleep first between 7-8PM, then the next time she wakes up for a feeding, I'll be the one to feed her, usually between 1-3AM. Then, if he hasn't left for work yet, he'll be the next one. That's just what works for us! And tomorrow night, I'll put her down first and he'll be the one to get up for that middle-of-the-night feed. 

Today is her 2-month doctor appointment for her first shots, and to say I'm nervous would be an understatement. But I'm thankful for a baby to love and daily challenges. Still don't totally feel like a "mama" TBH, I know it'll come on gradually and then BAM she'll be getting married.